“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”
Helen Rowland (English-American writer, 1876-1950)

“Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams

“Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified.”
J.B. Handlesman

“Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.”
Jean Kerr

“If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?”
Unknown

“For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life.”
Joyce Brothers

“An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce.”
Ann Landers

“You never really know a man until you have divorced him.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.”
Johnny Carson

“You don’t know a women till you’ve met her in court.”
Norman Mailer

“Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.”
Henny Youngman

“I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.”
Elayne Boosler

“A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.”
Marvin Mitchelson

“Divorce is a game played by lawyers.”
Cary Grant

“She got the gold mine. I got the shaft.”
Jerry Reed