“You can never buy beer, you just rent it.”
Archie Bunker

“Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.”
Al Bundy

“Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days.”
Ancient Egyptian Credo

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.”
Ancient Egyptian Wisdom

“Give a man a beer, he’ll drink for the day.Teach a man to brew, he’ll be drunk the rest of his life.”
Anonymous

“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.”
Benjamin Franklin

“There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.”
Benjamin Franklin

“…Actually, I’m a drinker with writing problems.”
Brendan Behan

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
Dave Barry

“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.”
Czech Proverb

“You can’t have a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.”
Frank Zappa

“I work until beer o’clock.”
Stephen King

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”
Abraham Lincoln

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?”
Stephen Wright

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
Dave Barry

“[I recommend]…bread, meat, vegetables and beer.”
Sophocles’ philosophy of a moderate diet

“Alright brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer.”
Homer Simpson

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
Ernest Hemmingway

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

“Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.”
David Moulton

“We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.”
Martin Luther

“It was as natural as eating and, to me, as necessary. I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.”
Ernest Hemingway

“Beer – Because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine.”
Anonymous

“If beer and women aren’t the answer, then you’re asking the wrong questions.”
Anonymous

“The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully.”
Russian proverb

“I’m off for a quiet pint – followed by fifteen noisy ones.”
Gareth Chilcott

“Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can’t say it.”
Anonymous