“As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself.”
Adelle Davis

“The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.”
G.K. Chesterton

“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.”
Albert Schweitzer

“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.”
Author Unknown

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”
Redd Foxx

“Symptoms, then, are in reality nothing but a cry from suffering organs.”
Jean-Martin Charcot

“We must turn to nature itself, to the observations of the body in health and in disease to learn the truth.”
Hippocrates

“Sleep is a healing balm for every ill.”
Menander

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”
Voltaire

“If you are surprised at the number of our maladies, count our cooks.”
Seneca

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”
Lily Tomlin

“He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors.”
Chinese Proverb

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
Mark Twain

“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”
Steven Wright

“America’s health care system is second only to Japan … Canada, Sweden, Great Britain … well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don’t live in Paraguay!”
Homer Simpson

“Our doctor would never really operate unless it was necessary. He was just that way. If he didn’t need the money, he wouldn’t lay a hand on you.”
Herb Shriner

“They say the Japanese don’t experience menopause or hot flashes. If that’s the case, why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?”
Wendy Morgan

“My husband wasn’t listening when the doctor asked for “a urine, stool, and semen sample” . . . so I just told him they wanted his shorts.”
Anonymous

“My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled.”
Red Skelton

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
W. C. Fields

“I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
Joan Rivers

“The first wealth is health.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.”
Irish Proverb

“An imaginary ailment is worse than a disease.”
Yiddish Proverb

“My fat scares me – it’s a ticking time bomb.”
Carrie Latet

“I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.”
John Mortimer

“So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.”
A.J. Reb Materi

“Nothing is more fatal to health, than an over care of it.”
Benjamin Franklin

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.”
Mark Twain

“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.”
Jay Leno

“Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.”
Robert Orben