“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”
Ambrose Bierce

“For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.”
Bill Cosby

“All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.”
John Berger

“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”
Joyce Brothers

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
Mignon McLaughlin

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”
Oscar Wilde

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”
Rita Rudner

“My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Socrates

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner

“Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”
George Bernard Shaw

“A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.”
Anne Taylor Fleming

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
Katherine Hepburn

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966

“Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”
Mark Twain

“One should never know too precisely whom one has married.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”
Mae West

“The most dangerous food is wedding cake.”
American Proverb

“Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.”
Jackie Gleason

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.”
Lyndon B. Johnson

“God created sex. Priests created marriage.”
Voltaire

“The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.”
Oscar Wilde