An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
Bill Vaughan

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
James Agate

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
Joey Adams

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
P. J. ORourke

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
Author Unknown

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
Oscar Wilde

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
Mark Twain

New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
Oprah Winfrey